Waiting for the fall

So often my life has been full of great chances or experiences followed by huge falls. I often tell people that I don’t have a fear of heights, just a fear of falling, because I know how much it hurts when you land.

I find that this has slowly been changing for me. As I work on bettering myself for me, I have found that I take great pride in my ups and lessons in my downs. No longer do I fear the fall because it will hurt. I understand that falls happen and that if I breath and use my tools I can learn from them and grow in a new or better way next time. So, Let’s talk about what I am pumped about doing.

So far I have lost over 10lbs. Which is amazing for me. Not just a loose it and gain it back like normal but a good month or two of being down in my weight. Or as my handsome husband likes to say, “Making new lows and lowering our highs.” He is right. When I stopped looking at it as a loose or you lose, I started noticing that yes sometimes I go up, but I have been rocketing down so even as I gain a little here or there, they are my new high which is still much lower then my old high. With that I have been pushing on. Focusing on my body and what I eat. Pushing myself to do more and move as much as I can without hurting myself.

Another thing I have going is my business. I started a new company called Mochi Photography. I had an idea a year and a half ago to have a booth where cosplayers or families could come and take pictures during their convention. I am also selling plushies and other crafty things I make in my spare time. I am now working on my sales pitch to get into daycare centers and other children rich areas where I can take pictures for them.

My other ongoing project is school! I am now in my second year of school to get my business degree. I am proud to say that my grades are awesome, my work is…. in by the due date, and I have really enjoyed the classes so far. I am so proud of myself for having stuck to my schooling and keeping up with it regardless of how I am feeling that week. I keep reminding myself that I started this school at the same time as Nik to keep me accountable. If he can do it so can I!

And one of my greatest ongoing joys is that Nik is doing so great in school. He is even leading the pack in the emergency drills and keeping focused on his work without a teacher or helper around to help. This is a big change from last year at the end of the year and a huge relief to my anxiety!

With all that said, I still have one more thing I am picking up in the next two months or so. I will be doing NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. I am going to focus down and split up my current novel work into a few novellas. So my project in November will be writing every day, and a deadline to finish the first draft of my Novella by the end of November.

So much to do, I am feeling a little tired just talking about it. Guess I should take a nap really quick before getting back to my homework, Mochi plushie making for this weekend, and taking care of Nik…… Nahhhhh I got this!

A brief howdy-do from Kris

Kris here,

I’ve been practicing that drawing thing I chatted about last time, but I don’t want all my posts to be about the same thing. That could get boring. Here’s an updated 5 minute go at Bob Moss! I didn’t really get very far but I definitely think the shape is better than last time. I thought it would be fun to jump face-first back into drawing and decided to make an entry for a contest put out by a youtuber I’ve been following – the details are in this video if anyone is interested; I don’t want to throw all the details around. Let’s see if you can guess the two I chose – I definitely have work to do! Here’s my current status –

 

 

Enough about that, what about you guys? November is coming up and it’s a great time where we pretend to be responsible and write ten million 50,000 words on a novel to further enrich the literary content of the world. I’ve been doing a lot of world and game designing, working outside, lots of non-novel writing this year, so I thought I’d give it a good run this time around. My story from last year is sitting at about 40,000 words already and I can’t imagine I’m going over 100,000 with this thing, presumably I can get it pounded out for a first draft. We’ve started the pre-month hype on the Undercroft NanoWrimo page over on Facebook – swing on by (and request an invite) if you’re looking to hang out with some like-minded writing types!

So what big projects do we all have going on?

I am so girly!

I am sitting here on my couch. Waiting for a package with a skirt. Kris told me yesterday that for some reason in his mind I have always been anti-girly things. Thinking about it he isn’t wrong. I have always felt weird about wearing a dress or skirts.

However, Since my husband has started pushing me to explore more creative outlets I found myself developing a new passion and understanding of who I was as a person. I started to understand how my friends, family and past had impacted so much of who I thought I was. I grew up with a great best friend however, she was very much a tomboy and anything remotely girly was a sin. So we dressed ourselves in the style of punk boys and I wore as much baggy clothes as possible. Anything to keep eyes off me. As an adult, I never really grew into that feeling of needing to dress up. I had interview outfits, but other then that, I was pretty much a jeans and T-shirt gal.

Now, since starting school and therapy and working on my own self image, I have learned about the style and flair I like for myself. This includes a lot of poofy skirts. I am talking 50s style A lines with pleats. Look out if they have pockets! I have found that I really do like shopping, on my own terms. I am still a book worm, because reading not only allows me to dive into a new place or story, but also study what other people do that amazes me or keeps me on my toes. I really love painting. I like to get my hands dirty with the paint and use my fingers to push and pull the paint around on the canvas and tell a story with emotion in the movement that it causes. I enjoy crafting new things, drafting patterns, singing, dancing, and anything that people will stop and enjoy. I am pretty good at photography and getting better.

All these things I never considered myself before, I am opening up to now becoming part of who I am as a person. So yes husband, I am girly.

Kris is terrible at drawing

Kris here,

I thought I’d made this week a bit picture heavy and start my “stop sucking” drawing thing that I mentioned 2 weeks ago. I used to be a… proficient, artist. I haven’t done any of it for about 10 years, because it was worse than doing the dishes. But lately, I’ve been losing that mindset  – thanks to my adorable wife – and figured I’d put my skills to the test. I’ve always been a big advocate of “everyone can draw, you just need to practice.”

I decided to start three different images – one from my imagination, one from a reference, and one from an actual object. The first is “Bob Moss”, a big tree guy that I just thought would be amusing to draw. The second is a tripod that definitely wasn’t just sitting a foot away from me after I finished Bob Moss and THAT’S why I chose it – that was my real object. And Tina suggested I draw a Squid she painted a while back for my image from reference- it’s a cute squid, sure I’ll draw it.

One thing I learned from this experience is that…I should probably scan the pictures next time, instead of taking pictures. Another thing to do is probably to draw my sketches lightly on the back of the 5 minute drawings, because this paper was VERY thin, or it’s just easy to smudge graphically. I drew most of this with a mechanical pencil, except the squid, which was a normal wooden pencil. Which was way better, I have to say.

I spent 5 minutes on each drawing for 1 image, then I spent 30 seconds of warm-up, a sketch of the object for 30, 60 and 90 seconds, and then a second 5 minute draw. The warm-up thing is just to loosen your hand up a bit – just draw some shapes or whatever makes your drawing hand comfy. I’m not sure the best format to actually show the images – I was thinking of just pasting them right here, but that would be pretty confusing I think and might look weird. I’ve posted them to imgur for now, and I’ll see how that works for the time being.  Let me know if it’s better to just post the pics on the post – it’ll be more to look at all at once, but will also save a couple of clicks!

Click the links to view the pics, feel free to follow along at home on your journey to become an amazing artist! Feel free to giggle, I definitely did.

Bob Moss the tree guy –
Sketches: https://imgur.com/t0OktYz 
1st 5 minute: https://imgur.com/Cupzgrt
2nd 5 minute: https://imgur.com/hN4nm2l

The Tripod of Convenience –
Sketches: https://imgur.com/Gf4Cetv
1st 5 minute: https://imgur.com/3WycvTp
2nd 5 minute: https://imgur.com/2Rw1gxB

And Finally, Squidly the painting (I need to actually photograph the painting still…foreplanning!) –

Sketches:  https://imgur.com/xkzvriR
1st 5 minute: https://imgur.com/dGrAH9i
2nd 5 minute: https://imgur.com/qZTJRba

As you can see, my artistic skills are incredible. I’ve decided to stick with pencil for now. Once we’re happy with our progress, we’ll spread out into other mediums, don’t even worry about it. If you get inspired to draw along, choose an object in real life, an object from a picture or drawing, or just something you concoct in your own head, and have fun with it!

Well Hello There!

Tina here!

Long time no….. uh…. you reading my rabbeling? Anyway, I feel Kris did a really great job talking about why we just vanished. So I am going to move on from it.

My days have been filled with Anxiety, Stress, Depression and Self Reflection.

Anxiety because of my own finals for my last term of my first year of college. Anxiety because of my son starting back to school after having such a terrifying last month of school last year. Anxiety because of taking on my book again and breaking it down into novellas instead the Fuster Cluck that it is now. Anxiety because of pushing myself toward progress and goals and ignoring the screaming voice in my head that wants me to stop and hide away and just let things be as they are or have always been.

Stressed because my insurance stopped paying for my mental health doctors, so now I have to find new ones, because that wasn’t stressful enough the first time. Stressed because I feel torn in so many ways to do what my heart wants over what my head tells me is logical. Stressed because I fail to share with my support structure what is really going on with me and I fall into a black hole of suck. Stressed to be a better mother to my son who needs so much support right now. Stressed to be a better mother to my other son who is at a turning point in his life and I am missing everything. Stressed to be a better wife, daughter, niece, friend, sister, and just person to myself.

Depressed because I allow myself to fall into the holes. Depressed because I can’t keep up with my own ever changing feelings let alone keep everyone else up to date. Depressed because I know I used to do more, but now I feel so useless. Depressed because I can’t seem to shake the feeling of failing. Depressed because although so many things have been going right, I am still waiting for them to all go wrong. Which has lead to my husband insisting on Self Reflection.

Reflecting on the changes and progress I have made in the last year. Reflecting on how much stronger the understanding between me and my husband has made us and our relationship. Reflecting about how my goals have been met or surpassed and I keep reaching higher and higher, becoming less and less afraid of the fall. Reflecting on the people in my life who have brought me new joy and hope with their love and friendship. Reflecting on the opportunities that I have made for myself. Reflecting on my own strength and creativity regardless of what I can’t do any more.

So this time has been a time of chaos and discovery and I can’t wait to share more and more with all of you. I have more on my plate, but I have some ideas of some really great things to share with you all!

See Ya Later!

Hello world!

Helloooooo lovely internet people! Kris here,

We accidentally wound up taking an impromptu hiatus from the blog for a couple of weeks while Zack was visiting last month. We hope nobody wept in sorrow for more than a week in our absence.

The blog has been a sort of litmus test of life for us for the past year or so honestly. I can generally spot the completed blog post amidst the flaming wreckage of my day to day and say “yes, I am a successful man.” The last couple of weeks have been pretty wild, so I’m looking forward to go back to being a crotchety, boring old guy with a blog with which to shout. Get off my lawn!

Tina and I spent a couple of days each week kind of going back and forth and ultimately blobbing onto the floor in a comical fashion until the deadline flew off without us. Looking back, we’ve been updating relatively frequently for about a year and a half, or about a hundred posts. That’s pretty amazing honestly; when Tina approached me with an idea for a blog, I was wholly against it. What am I going to even write about? I don’t have anything to tell these people. Who’s going to read it? There’s so many google entries on the stuff I already know. My dear wife was like “Kris it’s totally fine. There’s so many entries on Google anyway, nobody’s going to read what you write. It’s just a writing exercise, kind of like a public diary. Write it because if you don’t, I’ll cry.”

So I was coerced into being so long-winded you see? All the stuff I just go on and on about, totally and responsibly pushing responsibility off onto someone who isn’t here to defend herself. It’s fine, I do it all the time.

While we were out, Tina and I discussed what we should do with the Keyboard couple blog in the future. It’s pretty unlikely everyone up and decided to become illustrious authors simply due to my amazing writing tips, and we’ve branched out quite a bit on what we’re capable of in the last year or more. When we first started, I was pretty good at video games and, like taking out the garbage sometimes. I could make a mean spaghetti. Forcing myself to stay active just so I had something to chat about has helped me grow quite a bit honestly. I’ve started up two worldbuilding projects, a novel that I’ll never finish (#editors note: yes you will!), a tabletop RPG. We’ve been wanting to branch out what we’re able to accomplish on Keyboardcouple though. As an example, I was recently reminded about how I always hop on a soap box and rant about people who complain that artists are just so danged good at what they do.

My wife and I have moved to opposite sides of the spectrum in the last 7 years in this regard; I went to an art school, I spent a decade drawing and experimenting with art, and by heck if I didn’t just absolutely hate it by the time I moved south. My wife on the other hand, wasn’t very practiced in any kind of art when we met, but she liked to dabble and had so much passion for making stuff. One thing led to another, and here we are – she’s an amazing artist, and I’m actually terrible. This is a great opportunity to put my…pencil? Where my mouth is? No, but I can make a few entries about how you guys are all just great artists pre-greatness by showing my own path to improvement. I believe in you all.

A few other ideas we’ve had include YouTube videos, either showcasing some game or drawing we happen to be working on or playing, some learning posts about constructing a language from scratch (which is amazing and I want it,) or just keeping up our tradition of throwing words at a computer and demanding it to make them legible.

We definitely want to thank everyone who’s hung out with us over the last year and half, it’s been a great ride. Feel free to drop a message or email us anytime if there’s any questions or specific topics you’d like to see us talk about and we’ll be delighted to hear from you!

Kris finds more things online to take up all his time

Kris here,

Sorry we went totally AWOL last week – we had a crazy week and the 4th of July was just all up in our grill. Haha! Grill. We didn’t cook outside because it started raining and I’m already 90% inept in the ways of starting fires as it is – thunderstorms truly are my kryptonite.

 

For those not living in the US, the 4th of July is where we celebrate not being blown up by trying to blow ourselves up. It’s a great pasttime, very traditional.

 

This week I thought I’d plug a couple projects that have been taking a bit of my time recently and probably a lot more time in the near future. Project Gutenberg and Librivox. They’re both sites dedicated to crowd-sourcing the digitization of public domain literary works, but the former works in print and the latter produces audiobooks.

 

I know a lot of public domain works get a lot of bad rep sometimes, but spend some time perusing the libraries and I’m sure you’ll find something interesting. The part of the sites that has such a draw on myself personally is the contribution bits. I don’t mind reading something from a hundred years ago or some dry piece of information, but I have a really hard time focusing on one thing at a time. In this case, you get a chance to read a bit and help preserve at the same time, and that’s totally great by me.

 

Librivox is a little different in that they need listeners to help listen to recorded works and make sure nothing is amiss, but you can do some of the recordings yourself. I’ve always been a huge fan of audiobooks, helping to make them personally sounds pretty interesting. Give them a look the next time you’re bored and check it out – the worst that could happen is that you get to read or listen to free books!