So my husband, has had to deal with so much, uh, trauma from this marriage that I don’t know that he could ever recover. He has grown so adapted to my little ticks and tricks that sometimes I even forget things that he remembers in a snap.
Because of this I have taken him to every doctor’s appointment I can so that I don’t miss anything and I have extra ears to absorb the information. Let me tell you about a time that my migraine made me forget how to speak English.
So first off, my family was in town visiting us and I was feeling kind of off all day. I would forget words or stutter frequently. The kids got into a fight and the adults were all yelling and the color of the room just, shifted. I felt dizzy and went to sit down. Followed in by my aunt who found me shaking bad enough to worry and go grab my husband. He came in and when I would try and tell him about the colors or the pain in my head. I would just stutter the words out. It got worse and worse to the point where I couldn’t say anything. However, I know my letters in ASL as does he, and we have been learning Japanese together for some time now. So, I attempted in both ways to tell him what was going on. We were both baffled. My family was freaked out. I was freaked out, and with anxiety as a major issue for me, I was doing my best just to not break down and bawl in a hole for the next week.
My aunt agreed to watch the kids as my husband drove me to the ER, however, we had noted a few days before that an ER clinic had opened up down the street from the hospital. It was associated with the hospital and had lots of equipment to take care of us. So we popped in there. As we walked in, me clinging to Kris’ arm to be steady enough to walk. The nurse started our check in. Because I couldn’t talk, Kris was doing all the talking for me, as I would tap him and remind him of something in ASL. I don’t know what triggered it for them, but one of them said they had paperwork for him to fill out and they would take me back to a room to get me set up and take my vitals. What happened next still makes me angry.
I was bombarded with various nurses and doctors all trying to get me to talk to them. Saying things like, “It’s alright, he can’t get to you here, we won’t let him back.” I tried signing to them that I wasn’t being abused but they didn’t know any ASL. They handed me paper and that is when I learned that I also couldn’t read or write anything. Like at all. I started to cry in frustration as I pushed harder and harder to speak in English and all that would happen is stuttering and extreme pain in my head. Like level 11 out of 10. They kept trying to get me to lay down and just breath but at that point I just wanted my husband so he could explain, or translate. I pushed past them all, shoving several out of my way, with tears streaming down my face. I walked back out to the front where I could hear Kris asking to see me and being told that they just needed a few more mins with me. I came out the door to see him being bullied by a 5ft nothing nurse. He was shaken when he saw how upset I was, but all I did was yell profanities in Japanese and grab his arm and try to drag him out of there. He stopped me and made me breath, holding me close and shielding me from the nurses and doctors that had come chasing after me. I signed to him that they though he hurt me. He confronted them and called them out on assuming and refusing to listen. I wanted to leave. Go home or to the hospital down the street, but by this point I could barely walk. I started shaking badly again and Kris took me to the room they had set up for me and held my hand the whole time they talked to me from then on. I told him to tell them that they needed to learn ASL. He didn’t. But this man was my rock then, and will be forever.
Side note: after several hours of tests, the doctor calling people for ideas and lots of meds, I was able to slowly come back into some kind of normal and we were discharged.