Writing as therapy

Hellloooooo internet, Kris here:

Our post is QUITE late this week, by almost two weeks! Sorry about that, I owe you guys a couple of stories. It’s been pretty silly around the place recently what with the holidays coming around, Tina heading off to gallivant across state lines and school letting out. Whose idea was it to let kids out of school?

During a recent bout of “child smashing toys against EVERYTHING” I wrote up a quick story about Nik smashing up everything from the toys’ perspective. I read it to him and he giggled so I’ll read it (?) to you  too!

____________________________

“AAH! Run awaaay!”

Tiberius  Cloak yelled as a monstrous foot crashed through the building to the left, diving out of the way as a huge piece of debris flew overhead. The sounds of destruction let loose an incredible fury all around him as the attack fell on the sleepy outpost.

Sounds of return fire and automated turrets lit the sky around him with brilliant flashes of orange red, the cacophony like a million bees swirling overhead. At the same time, the baritone chanting of the defense corp rose up in a protective blanket washing over him, filling him with strength.

Tiberius leaped up onto the 10 meter wall in a single bound. He was no longer afraid of the titan stomping through the outer shell behind him, but shuddered to think of what would become of his home if they failed here. He swept up a sparkler, a giant sword enchanted with a flashing strobe light handle, and hurled his harpoon at a gap he spotted in the titanic armor. Leaping from the wall, he swung through the air until his arc reached its climax and ripped the anchor out of his belt. He allowed weightlessness to caress him momentarily before tossing a bounce grenade to give him momentum to reach dizzying heights.

As he came eye to eye with the figure, Tiberius activated the piercing strobe light to distract the giant as he swept his enchanted diamond blade through the incoming giant nose. He felt the blade bite deep, knowing instinctively retribution was already on its way. He yanked the handles at the pommel, allowing the shield hidden inside the sword to expand rapidly in tight arcs, forming the circle of protection just as a heavy hand swapped him out of the air. Tiberius drank his panic potion(TM) as he hurtled face-first toward the earth while himself panicking. Relief flooded his being as his now-bouncy body rebounded off the ground and then wall, sending him back to his former height.

The pin of another bounce grenade almost left its socket, but something stilled his hand. He noted the sudden change in the creature, the change in direction. It turned suddenly, staring into the distance.

*****

“Nikolai! Dinner time!” Mom called up the stairs as she heard Nik smashing his toys together.

“But mooooom I’m BUSY!”

“Come down here right now sir! You can play again after you eat.”

Nik grumbled and walked grumpily out the door, away from the small Lego city he build. Time to be Godzilla another day.

**********

Tiberius landed softly on his feet after drifting slowly from the sky. The titan howled and retreated into the distance. The city was safe for one more day, though they knew it was just a matter of time.

A fireside chat with Kris and Tina. And a fire this time.

Hello Internet!

Tina and I sat down to chat a little about starting a Pathfinder game with Nik, and about just some random silly topics. We didn’t want to get too in-depth with anything since it’s Thanksgiving this week and we know you’re all out there listening to cooking tutorials today.

And that’s fine!

We had a real fire in the fireplace this week and we sat around being generally warm and comfy, as we hope you all are this fine November day as well.

In which Kris organizes…something probably.

Hello Friends!

Tina and I have decided to spare your delicate ears this week and just do a regular, written post. It’s like we’re back in the stone age!

We’ve been hard at work this month with our November writing shenanigans, as I know you all are as well. How’s everything going so far? I’m definitely behind, personally. I believe I’m sitting around exactly 50% of the suggested word count for the month as a matter of fact. It’s FINE, it’s all fine everything is fine. I’m sure one or two of you are getting a bit behind too, right? That’s alright, I know you can push yourself to do great things, even if they happen in December or January. Remember, those word counts are just suggestions, the spirit is in the writing itself!

I’ve made some pretty good progress on my first draft I started coughcough last year coughcough. After restructuring my outline a bit (mentally of course, never write anything down. It distracts from the now,) I’m thinking I may follow Tina’s lead here and cut the whole into a few smaller segments. When I first started the story, I wrote a brief outline that’s served me pretty well – but I’m also more of a discovery writer most of the time. That means you sorta just write and discover the story along the way. I managed to get passed that bump that slowed me down earlier this year, so I’m tentatively optimistic I can blast through this bad boy at least by the end of the year. Only 500 more revisions to go!

Let’s not get distracted from what I originally came here to write about though.

While we were taking some downtime from our hectic, future-authorly lives, my dear wife proposed to me. An idea that we keep ourselves some bullet journals. Now I know what you’re thinking. I know! Me too! But no, it’s not like a diary you shoot at.

A bullet journal is basically a daily planner and a journal, scheduler, calendar and a sketch pad in the same notebook as far as I can tell. Which is fantastic, you guys know I love multitasking. I carry like 4 notebooks at all times, this whole ‘single-notebook’ business seems way cooler if it works. I started writing in it 24 hours ago (probably closer to 40 when you’re all flocking to read this as soon as it drops,) and I can say I’ve probably filled up about ten pages already. Also, I’ve organized a hundred things, started planning Thanksgiving, and obviously drew a picture of a buff cow.

Okay the cow picture was there a while ago and I forgot all about this notebook, but I found it again and it made me laugh so I’m keeping it. Maybe I can make it the featured picture for the post, it won me a drawing challenge against Nik some months ago.

I ran across the info about these actually independently of Tina, I just never gave it a thought until she demanded it. I first found the info, and later referenced the same info, by watching a lot of “How to ADHD,” which is a delightful channel on YouTube I’ve been getting a lot of great information from. I’ll toss a link to the video I came back to when I was making the journal last night in case any of you are interested in organizing your wild lives, or just want to watch some fabulous adult ADHD videos yourselves. The basic idea is that you A) Number all the pages, B) Write an index, and C) Use the journal. It’s a great tool and I know some of you will put it to great use,

 

 

Good luck to everyone getting ready to prepare for Thanksgiving next week, and I wish you all merry…weekend!

A tale of two tales

Hello Internets – Kris here,

Tina and I had a bit of a longer chat this week discussing the upcoming month of writing our butts off as well as a quick 20 minute project we did for funsies. Our project was to write for 10 minutes to get a story setup, and then trade and finish the others’ for the next 10 minutes. It’s good practice, and a bit silly – highly recommended if you have anyone nearby who’s fun and likes to use their imaginations!

I’ll go ahead and post the stories below the blogcast in their mostly un-edited forms (to better illustrate differences in writing styles) for your perusal; leave us a comment if you have any topics or story starters of your own and we’ll be happy to take ’em for a ride! Fair warning, the stories are super short on account of being written in 20 minutes by two people, and also have a bit of a potty mouth in case any impressionable eyes are wandering nearby.

 

Story 1

“God damn it!”

Jessica was so pissed. These damn curbs had been built purposefully just to piss her off and she was THIS close to stomping one into dust.

Bzzz.

“Oh!”

The problem of course was the interviewer at the other end of this email chain wasn’t going to wait for her to rent out a bulldozer or something. She drafted up a quick reply and bolted across the street to catch the light.

Stupid tequila, stupid brad. Stupid alarm! The best shot of her entire career was flushing itself down the proverbial toilet. Jessica cursed and muttered to herself as she shouldered aside both young and old, man and woman. She remembered a shortcut behind the shoe warehouse and ducked under the gate, hoping to God it wasn’t locked at the other end.

It was locked.

“Oh hell! I wish it was last night again!” Caution to the wind, she flew like a bat out of hell, flailing out of control as she slipped on yet another storm drain.

“AAARGH!”

She hurled her purse across the parking lot into the shadowed alcove of the-

Shadowy alcove?

Her heart skipped a beat. It was mid day seconds ago, why was it night?

“What in the hell?”

“You really shouldn’t throw your things into dark holes.” Brad chirped from behind her.

“Jessica spun on her heel to see Brad wearing the same attire as last night. The street behind him also showed a flurry of activity only known to the city during what Brad called “party time.”

“I-I was just…” She trailed off looking down to see not the smart dress suit she had fallen asleep on and wrinkled to hell, but her cute gold shimmer dress and heels.

“Girl, get your bag!” Brad looked around. “Some creep is gonna try and mug us if you don’t hurry and I love this watch!”

“Jessica turned and went to pick up her purse when she noticed her good luck charm had fallen out. She retrieved the shiny silver token that had been given to her by her father, shortly before he was killed by a freak lightning strike that night. He had told her it was a faeries token, stolen or given by the fae to her way back Grandmother in Ireland. It made it across the ocean and survived the Titanic with her grandmother.

[End]

For bonus points, see if you can tell where the story swapped hands! Tina and I are horrendously opposite as storytellers so it should be pretty easy.

Story 2

 

The vampires didn’t just appear overnight. It wasn’t like a newly formed species that came from space. Some of them had been here for much longer than any living being had a right to exist.

Then again, when you live that long are you really alive?

Some of the myths that were quickly dashed when they came out was that you had to die to become one. Really, it didn’t take a death to change you. Just a pact and some sort of magic ritual. Oh, and magic was real.

My name is Sonny and I’m a plumber. Yeah, yeah. Like Mario. However, in this new world of vampires, my job is to plumb people. Rather crude, but I set up some vamps with willing humans and discard or remove defective or broken ones. I am human, however, my payment is in extended life without the thirst for blood. I’m not faster or strong, just 30 for a couple hundred years longer than others. Some of the nerds started calling humans like me Elves, based on old fantasy lore.

Well if they could hear what I hear, they would clamor to become a plumber too.

A couple of the big ones started talking the other day about some trick they had in mind. Sounded like a big operation, whole cities turned to feeding ground. Humans penned like cattle. You know the drill. One of ’em was talkin’ about how the plumbers were gonna be kept in separate apartments from now on for safety; you know, some of the young ones get overzealous when they start sucking that stuff.

Well I might be selfish, rich, and young, but I ain’t stupid. I know that fella with big ears heard me in that hallway so I set out to record this message in case they come for me. It’ll ship out to every country in the world if I don’t reset the calendar each week.

Why a week? Well listen, sometimes when I’m out gettin’ the stink eye from those normies, I just wanna snap, you know. It’s been over a hundred years since I got laid over here! Still, I can’t wish everyone dead. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness was never rich, even if the broads are clamoring for magic nowadays.

So you’re probably wondering why this letter is in your fine hands. Well my friend, I am dead or dying I can only assume, since the timer seems to have expired. You can bet your Betty-who’s that they’ve read the message by now and probably the addressees as well. I’d estimate you probably have about two hours from the sent stamp to copy this and get the hell away from there.

Remember: New York, Boston, London and Berlin may be first, but the whole damn world is about to get drained if you ain’t quick.

[End]

In which Kris and Tina have a chat

Hello Keyboard Couple readers!

Kris here,

Tina and I had a bit of a chat and decided to go ahead and use that for our post this week! It’s just a silly chat waiting in the car for the boy at school, but it’s also a good way for us to learn how to upload this audio and bring more interesting topics in the future. Drop us a comment if you have any pointers here, we’re just winging it  as we go.

Thanks for listening, and stay strong! It’s Friday out there!