Enlightened and Rambling

Howdy ya’ll, Tina here.

I am now in my 6th week of classes at the University of the People, UoPeople for short. It is a tuition free, online based, accredited university that is open to people around the world. When I say tuition free, I mean, you don’t pay for books, you don’t pay for classes, you only pay for your application and final tests.

“Tina, that’s great and all but I don’t really care…”

Yeah I know and you are so sweet to be so supportive of me in my three sentence intro. I only said something because I am so excited about the application I have already given to some of my current classes.

I am seeking a Business Management degree and in my business class I had to create my own mission, vision, goals, and strategy using the various methods we are being taught. They were to pertain to my own personal life and what I want out of it. Well, see, trouble is, I have never really known what I wanted out of life. I have always held on dearly to the dream of living in Japan, but other than that I never set my mind that I would become something more than just me. Mostly because I don’t tend to think very highly of myself. Now before you get all, “Oh poor Tina” , I have to say that a great deal of who I am today as a person was shaped by my past. Even more of who I am has been shaped over the last few years as I learned to move past that and push on with becoming my own person. So I would say the whole self discovery thing was just, uh, delayed. I talked about my assignments with family members who all without knowing what the others said gave me the same advice.

“Tina, you love Japan and writing. Always have.”

See, writing as a kid was therapeutic for me. It provided a way for me to press my own feelings, goals, hopes, dreams and demons onto someone else. Pretending for a while that it wasn’t me going through it. I wrote everything, love stories, poems, dark and depressing or light and hopeful, I wrote adventure, and I wrote horror. Lots of horror. I don’t really know why writing didn’t pop up to me right away as a possible goal for myself. I guess really because I think of it more of a thing someone does as they work a real job. However, as my mentor and cyborg queen overlord has said over and over again, Writing is hard, and anyone who says differently isn’t a writer. Writing is a real job, with insane hours, a cranky and sometimes rude boss, unrealistic goals and dreams, and a killer time sink if you just quit. So if you dive into it, you gotta be ready to live it. Family and friends don’t support you, or worse do but don’t understand the kind of commitment you need to give to writing and call you selfish, it is gonna happen.

I have been given the most amazing ideas and creativity that can spin up yards of ideas in an instant. My husband is logical, intelligent and always willing to help me out. He is my chosen editor and key reader for my works.

 

So, if you have never done it before, find out what you want from life. It might surprise you and lead you to joy you didn’t know you had access to.

Creatively Speaking

Howdy all, Tina here.

Kris and I have been talking about it and we would like to let you all know that we are planning to start a podcast. We want it to be a more personalized voice to our whatever we end up making our blog post about that week.

Now, so much has happened. We got decent mics so that we would sound less horrible and we both have been doing research into what type of podcasts out there might be similar to ours. We talked about format and how we would upload it. For now we are working on getting an Apple ID, Google Play and others to post the podcast too. For now it might just be via a link in the blog post to our youtube page.

“Tina, what will you guys talk about?”

Psh, what won’t we talk about?!

Politics… I don’t wanna talk politics, because that requires much more research and dedication to time sinking activities that I just frankly don’t want to do.

Other than that, EVERYTHING. Science, parenting, school, writing, crafting, cooking, you freaking name it and we are willing to try it out. I want to do a weekly update about our life then just jump into whatever topic we are doing that week.

“What if I don’t want to listen to your soft, honey smooth voices?”

That’s fine… I guess. We will still be posting a weekly blog, the podcast will just be supplemental to it.

“Will you talk about my (INSERT PRODUCT/PROJECT HERE)?”

Sure, but we are going to be honest. That’s just who we are. I don’t want my name attached to an idea that I don’t support. But you wanna talk about your book. Want us to talk about your podcast? Meh, why not!

Also, for those of you who didn’t know we do have a twitter, @keyboardcouple . Tweet us a tweet. Well, thank you all for listening and I can’t wait for you all to hear from us soon!

The cost of Education 

As our youngest started on his journey of education it gave way to thoughts about my own education. I got pregnant my senior year of high school and was pressured into going to an alternative school where kids that couldn’t go to school with others for some reason or another were sent to work at their own pace. I took that as a personal challenge to get my full senior year plus some done before Thanksgiving break. I had the whole rest of the year to myself to think about college. 

I did enroll. I attempted to attend a local Christian university that had offered me a scholarship. However I was working two jobs to pay for daycare and had a full course schedule. I overloaded myself and quickly dropped out. I attempted once again to go to a community college with just a few classes. Fearing overload again. However, unresolved medical issues stepped up and forced me away from school again. 

I spent the next few years researching and diving into ideas for different ways to go to school but always failing at going any further due to lack of funds. 

Cue my 30th birthday, I had been feeling like this one simple thing called a degree was missing from my life. All my goals and dreams hindering on a 4 year commitment to working my ass off. So, now I am working on becoming a better me via Threopy and working closely with my doctors to make myself better each day. That has included enrolling in an undergraduate program for business management. I am working hard and facing my personal struggles head on. I know things will get better and that all things change. Our universe is in a constant state of change so your bad luck one day will pass eventually. 
So enjoy the moments in your life that make you smile, chase after the dreams, because you were built for the chase and don’t worry over the mistakes, they fade with time. I love you all!
Tina

Always on my mind

Howdy everyone, Tina here!

So as another day has passed, I am now ever closer to that fateful day when my dear sweet little boy, goes to school.

Now I know what you all are thinking, “Congrats! You have made it 5 years without mortally wounding your child. Now you get to send him off for half the day and experience your own time.” Well my friends, you are so wrong!

The last few years that I have spent at home with Nik have been amazing. He is so inquisitive and full of life. I worry about how I will do without him. I know he is going to do amazing in school. He has been practicing his whole life.

 

 

 

Making friends. Check. He will say hi to nearly everyone he sees. He seems to have a knack for honing in on those people with extremely sour dispositions and doing everything he can to get them to acknowledge him or just say Hi if they are really stubborn. Many a rideshare driver has met and talked with Nik, which is great for me because I get to just sit back and let him do all the talking. Even with our mildly grumpy roommate Watson, Nik knows that he doesn’t really like kids but will tell him jokes or do silly things to his dad to get Watson to laugh or smile. He tries sneaky ways to try and get him to talk to him too. He is getting better at it and even Watson admits that he keeps forgetting his own rule to ignore anything that can’t spell in a video game.

Schooling. Check. As far as general education goes, he is so ready. He has been working on his vocabulary since he found out he could talk. Kris and my hard fast rule to never baby talk him made sure he understood everyone around him and that he was well understood. He loves watching shows with me and his dad, so we worked on showing him all the coolest shows we loved from our childhood. Magic School Bus, Bill Nye, Zoobumafu, among others. That had us finding ones he really liked like Octonauts, Finding Stuff Out, and Wild Kratts. He loves learning about animals, nature, and space. He told Kris and me that his goal is to become a Firefighter, policeman, and astronaut in that order. I have no fears that when it comes to learning that he will shun away from it. I think he will be the one gathering others to it, hopefully not to explode or anything.

Challenges. Check. This kid has the iron will of a rusted shut bear trap. When it comes down to getting Nik to do something he doesn’t want to do, I have learned. You don’t demand, you challenge. Which to some might sound silly. He’s my kid and should do what I say when I say it right? No, he is his own person with his own set of ideas about what he does. You want him to do something different, please explain. So I could yell and scream and hold my breath and stomp my feet and we both end up feeling bad, or I can explain it to him for hours on end until I feel like my head is going to explode, or I can make it a race, make it a game, make it a spoonful of sugar if you will. I can let his willfulness get the best of me or I can work with it and help him to find the challenges and fun in life. I would much rather he make every day things seem like a game than watch him ho-hum though life.

So, will I cry on Tuesday of next week? YOU CAN COUNT ON IT. Not because I am scared for him or it means he is growing up. He reminds me everyday that he is getting older and bigger. No, I will be crying because my brightest beam of joy and love will be missing for most of my day and being faced with his own new challenges and learning. I will stand there however, with a brave face and a warm smile and hug to see him off. I will wave to him as he goes off to class each day, ready to learn and enjoy the things he finds. I will smile each day he goes to school, because for him, this is his newest adventure, and for me as well.

Niko chill

Flavoring your life

Tina Here.

 

When you are sick or broken as often as me. You start to loose hope in things quickly. Goals that once seemed doable are now far out of reach. You loose the motivation to push on for the things you care about. You loose a large part of what you feel makes you. I push and push when it comes to dealing with just everyday life. I am so sick of my personal daily grind of just convincing myself that getting out of bed is worth the effort.

When you have to push to get every little bit you can, finding the drive to do the things you want to do becomes nearly impossible. However, When you find people to support you and understand you, you can make a sucky outlook seem like the past.

I just got done working at RTX for my 3rd year. I love working at conventions because they show you how much a group of strangers can come togeather like a family to support a cause they love. I enjoyed every second of my time at RTX this year and even with my limitations I knew that I could rely on my RTX family to have my back.

Izzy was a huge help and loved by everyone. She alerted not only to my anxiety and things but also when someone else would come in and they were battling things too. She just looked at each person and seemed to give more attention to those who later told me they had been having a really hard time until they saw Izzy. That warmed my heart more than anything. My service dog was not just a service to me, but to my extended family as well. She never barked at another dog or person. She waited for me to tell her to say hello before she walked over to people. She was the most amazing 5-month-old Great Dane puppy that I could have ever asked for. She set a standard that I was proud to see was so much more than I could have hoped. We educated, we loved, and we took care of everyone. Those are the things I love doing the most. So because of Izzy, I had the best RTX ever and I can’t wait for next year.

Things like RTX and PAXSouth are events I look forward to every year. I push myself to go to them despite how my body is feeling or how many things I think will go wrong. I use it to push myself past my limits and show myself that I am capable of working with my environment.

Now to start working on my book… Oh man. I just opened a can on myself there. Well, time to get writing on that.

When sickness comes

Tina Here,

Feeling pretty under the weather today. So much so that the first sentence sat alone on this page for no less than 15 mins. The biggest obstacle in becoming sick is that I just don’t have the time for it. With a 5-month-old puppy, a 5-year-old boy and my 11-year-old visiting for the summer, I am expected to entertain and be present for the day. No lounging in the bed all day to recover for me.

However, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sick as I feel it stinks that I can’t be more energetic for them and let them run around like the crazy people they are, but I am just in the dumps. I can’t take anything that would help me feel better because I can’t point to one thing and say, “Yes, that is what is wrong with me.” I have to just get up, get dressed and put it all in my brain.

The slow feeling that has invaded me seems to be infesting other parts of my life as well. My once tidy little kitchen has dishes piled high. My living room is a picture of chaos. The poor puppy is also running out of places to poo because I haven’t had a chance to clean up!

My amazing husband does the best he can to take care of me.  Unfortunately, he is at work for 11 hours of the day. However, I am holding out hope that tomorrow I can sleep in a bit. Maybe go to bed early tonight.

Alma – Chapter 2

Ro’dan looked around the foyer as Alma closed the doors and bolted them. She quickly moved over to the windows to peek out them. Ro’dan was in awe of the large house. It’s grand stairs and large rooms that were open to the sides of the hall gave more merit to the high standing of this odd young lady. However, the rooms were completely bare but clean of any dust. She must be a street child like himself who happened to find an empty house that no one missed and had been using it as her own. Ro’dan thought on it for a moment more and realized that this new place could serve very well as a base. Allowing them to pull more elaborate cons on people. Maybe he could use this daft girl’s kindness to get her roped into letting him do as he pleased.

Alma pulled away from the window to face Ro’dan, “Well, it doesn’t seem to appear we were followed!” Alma looked at the boy as if taking in who he was for the first time. “Oh, um,” a sudden shyness appeared across her face. “I mean, I know I should have properly asked you over and had refreshments ready but I got so excited that I was going to meet a real life cutpurse that I just flew away with you.”

Ro’dan cocked his head to the side and smiled his most charming smile. This was going to be too easy. “Oh my dear, I can understand how excited you must have been to share this wonderful place with someone.” She seemed to shift her feet in thinking what to say next. “Did I remind you of an old lover? Perhaps of your father?”

Alma’s head quickly snapped up and she held rage in her eyes. “You would be nothing like Father. Never speak of him again.” and like that, the firm overtone and glare was gone and again replaced with the mousy looking girl again. “You didn’t remind me of anyone. I just got excited to meet someone I had only ever read about in Father’s books.”

Ro’dan smiled again. A learned girl huh? Not a street rat then. Even easier to fool. “Well, I don’t know much about books ma’am but I would be happy to help you, however, I can.”

Alma smiled brightly and nodded. “Yes, I think I could learn much from you. Come with me.” Alma turned and headed up the stairs. Ro’dan followed, keeping an eye out for anything that could be of value, but being sorely disappointed. This house was kept well clean but it lacked any kind of personal touch. He was almost ready to offer to bring Alma a chair when she grasped the handles to the closed off room at the top.

“This place means more to me than anything I could ever own. It stands to reason that, if you are foolish enough to harm, dirty, or steal anything in here, I will use all of my life in the pursuit of you and your kin for the rest of my days. I will haunt you from beyond my grave and I will lay claim to every generation that comes from your line. Do not test me, cutpurse, I know many a curse from wicked Voodoo priestesses from the swamps and dry lands. I will use them on you before you can blink.” With that, she waved a hand over his head and said a few odd words then spit on her thumb and touched the bottom of her shoe.

Ro’dan wasn’t sure if he really believed her but any man of his age knew better than to risk the eye of God or anything else that could ruin your life. She looked so determined that there was no doubt left in his mind that she meant every word she said. “I swear on my mother’s grave that no harm shall come to this house from myself.” He used his sweetest puppy dog eyes and that seemed to please the odd girl. She nodded and lead him into the room with a grand sweep of her arms.

“Welcome to the Library of Mr.Wonders.”