The Grumpy Penguin

Kris here,

So some time ago while we were all hanging around and I was probably doing some manly dad things, like grilling outdoors or twisting off tight jar lids or something, when I had the bright idea “Hey Nik and I should write a story!” So I then said aloud “Hey Nik and I should write a story!”

Tina was totally down with this on account of it not including any work on her part, but Nikolai was apparently heartbroken. Do you know how long he’d waited to play with those toys? It might’ve been watching his tablet too but let’s go with the toys thing. He was yelling and crying and calling 911 and generally just making a ruckus that I don’t think was necessarily apt for the situation. So, of course, I sat down and started writing the story about him, out loud, while writing everything to paper. He gradually grew less and less fussy and started laughing because I’m the best and we all learned something at the end (dad had to google because he was making outlandish allegations that nobody was sure of.)

Right after we’d finished writing it down to paper, Nik and I read the story to Tina as a whole instead of the broken sentences I used while I was actually writing it down. Tina did that thing she does where she’s the best and there were suddenly illustrations! And now we have a brief and amusing story that still gets told before bed from time to time – we thought we’d post it on our blog here, in case anyone else was able to make their toddler giggle at the antics of The Grumpy Penguin.

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Izzy – Week 1

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So as Izzy joined our house we got her all the needed things. Tons of treats for training, things to chew on, a bed and crate, and a vet appointment for her first set of puppy shots.

We were all excited! Nik was so happy to have a little puppy he could play with until she nipped him. Yes, my amazing find of a pup had a big problem with using her mouth correctly. Not a great trait for a service dog to have. The risk of biting someone when upset or startled is too high if left unchecked. So, our laundry list of things to work on with her grew. Walking on a leash (for everyone, not just Tina), Not peeing in the house (or submissively to Kris, cause he is so scary!), and not using our mouth to show how happy and excited we are to play with or meet people.

 

I can say that this week we have seen a slow change of understanding that we prefer to be licked not bit and a clear understanding that she doesn’t want to leave my side for any reason. Which I guess is good but also a bit much with a 5-year-old and a puppy.

I have been up and about around the house more often. I am getting up when my husband goes downstairs so I can take care of Izzy and I have been using muscles that had been neglected and are sharing that via the soreness and pain I feel each night.

But I mean, really, look at this girl!

Also here is a little picture of the schedule that I have been trying with her. I am sure I will end up adjusting this as we get farther along.

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And a cute little gif of my pup learning toys are for mouth not hands.

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Well, that is all for this week, I will post a new Izzy weekly update next Saturday!

Intro to Izzy

I have PTSD, anxiety, & depression. I have been in therapy for around 6 months and I have also been seeing a Psychiatrist. All of this was a pile up on me and got worse because I had refused to seek help for it. After being asked by my Therapist Jane, what I was planning on doing when Nik started school I started to worry.

 

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Making me feel older each day!

 

Not able to think of anything and being fed up with taking pills that knocked me out when I had an anxiety attack, I started searching for other ways of dealing with it.

Did you know that when you search YouTube for PTSD anxiety and ways to deal with it, a large portion of videos come up that deal with service dogs. Most of them focused on veterans, but the information was out there. The more I started to search for service dogs the more I started thinking this was a great idea. I had trained several dogs before this point and figured that training my own service dog would be a great way to spend my time.

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So after talking to my therapist Jane I agreed with her and my psychiatrist that getting a service dog could be very beneficial to me. So I began to learn how to assess service dogs and how to figure out which dog would make a good service dog then my hunt for a service dog begin. So I began to learn how to assess service dogs and how to figure out which dog would make a good service dog then my hunt for a service dog begin. I contacted several different agencies to see if they would work with me and training a service dog however majority of them prefer to work with veterans and we would not work with me and had a waiting list of up to two years. So I found a local service that helps you train a dog you already have and is based in San Antonio just south of me so I signed up for it and went in search of a service dog.

The first dog I meant was named the doctor he was a great Dane who was a year and a half all he did really well on all of the tests that I performed with him. However, when it came to dealing with my husband he wanted nothing to do with him. His barking and hiding from my husband were a sure sign that he wouldn’t be acceptable as a service dog since he would need to interact with a variety of people on a daily basis.

Then off to see a sweet little girl Great Dane pup.

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First meeting the sweet puppy, I had to take a deep calming breath as I looked at this adorable little pup with honey colored eyes. Kris looked at me and raised one eyebrow, seeming to check on my mental state. I smiled at him and then explained to the woman what tests I would be doing and that it would take a little bit of time. Each and every test I put her way she seemed to know just what I wanted. I held her and checked out her ears and mouth and saw some fleas on her chest. Well… let me tell you. I have a huge problem with fleas. To the point that my husband, therapist, and psychiatrist all thought I might have OCD because of the way I react to them. Typically by scratching off my skin or boiling myself under unhealthily hot water.

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Even with that said, I couldn’t deny how she seemed to just gravitate toward me and sat with me when I got down on the ground. She even now is super close to me at all times. She loves to just sit next to me and chew on toys or hang out in the kitchen with me.

I felt she was going to be amazing as a service dog. Everything in me told me that this was going to be awesome. So we took her home.

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I am going to hold off here and have our first week with Izzy in another blog post on Saturday. Where I will post about Izzy each week and blog about our progress into becoming a fully-fledged Service Dog!

 

That one time we(Tina) forgot

When starting this blog, Kris and I talked for a long time about the time and effort we would need to put into it. We both agreed that even if no one ever read the blog we would be happy as long as we kept ourselves engaged in writing. See, we both have a great love for books.

However, we both have the great desire to see stories like the ones we make up in our heads. Therefore we started writing. I wrote a story about the bonds that make up our life and how they can cause strife and friction. Kris writes short stories and mostly a glossary of all things in his world. He likes to write more about the world and the general history and setting. I like making a story inside it. We work pretty well with each other. So, when it comes to the blog, often times the conversation sounds like this; “Hey, you got the blog ready for tomorrow?” “Uhhhhhgh no, do you have anything to write?”

“Hey, you got the blog ready for tomorrow?” “Uhhhhhgh no, do you have anything to write?”

“Uhhhhhgh no, do you have anything to write?”

“Pshhh, no way. I can come up with something though.”

“No, no, it’s okay it is my week so I will figure this out.”

Shrugs and dismissal of the subject is the end of the conversation. This has happened both ways, me to Kris and Kris to me. We both seem to struggle when it comes to a biweekly commitment of finding a topic and just writing about it.

Is there something in your own life you really want to do and struggle to keep up the effort and time that it takes to do it? Surely we can’t be the only ones! (And no, I am not calling you Surely!)

I was going to post up another GGGS but I didn’t feel completely ready to dive into it. I want to make sure I look up all the possible information I might need. I like to be prepared. So I dropped the ball. I kept putting off writing something for the blog in favor of other research, and I am sorry. *puppy dog eyes* Please forgive me! Kris came up with the idea that we should release something special on Saturday as an apology for missing our own personal deadline. So please keep an eye out for Saturday’s mystery surprise and remember, read a book, write a poem or draw a picture, expand your brain and express yourself!

In which Kris does some idea… borrowing

Kris here,

Don’t tell my wife, but I’m super jealous she gets her own segment on our site with an acronym and everything. So in my own creative way, I’ve decided to…well copy her exactly. We’re married so it’s basically my idea already anyway right? I’ve decided to name my segment… let’s see “Kris’s really awesome project,” K.R.A-. Waaait a second. Let’s just call it a work in progress.

This week I’d like to discuss a small book series I read hundreds of years ago when I was just a lad, The Enchanted Forest chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede. A series of 4 books that are each pretty small, only 2-300 pages each, but is by far a favorite series of mine to be re-read at least every 2-3 years in its entirety. I’m relatively sure Patricia Wrede single-handedly sparked my interest in both humor and reading when I was about 7 or 8. The target audience here is definitely children to young adults but..well listen, don’t pretend you didn’t expect it knowing who’s writing the blog okay.

The series revolves around the Enchanted Forest in a world of her own, but with multiple (and hilarious) references to fairy tales that were pretty prevalent while I was growing up. I don’t want to spell the books out and ruin the fun or spoil it for anyone Googling the series, although to be honest, I think after 27 years your right to spoiler warnings is dissolved come on now.

Cimorene the princess would love to learn Latin, sword fighting and magic, but since she’s a princess, she gets to learn dancing and manners and embroidery. After running away to ask a dragon to capture her, she lives a good life chasing off princes and melting wizards with her dragon Kazul who likes having someone around to clean and make cherry’s jubilee. Some story happens and she goes on an adventure meeting a witch who keeps everything very clean and has a painted sign indicating that she’ll have none of your nonsense, a king of the Enchanted Forest and a poor dwarf who keeps spinning straw into gold in return for firstborns unless their parents can discover his name. Only no one ever guesses his name, so he keeps accumulating children, he even changed his name to Herman to be easier to guess and moved way out away from civilization but they keep finding him.

In short, if you ever get the chance – read these books. They’re relatively short, they’re light-hearted and the characters are hilarious and I love them. I’ve also read these to Nik as bedtime stories and hopefully one day…he’ll forget and I can read them to him again.

Getting back up

Whereas last week I was so sure that no one would like the blog. I even went so far as to not say anything about it being posted on our social media. This week I hope to take a little bit of a brighter outlook and share some of the joy and positivity that keeps me going despite all that keeps me down.

So I would like to present this blog’s first ever list.

Tina’s top 5 ways to show the world who’s boss:

1. Finding time, or Making time? That is the question – When I write I am most often consumed in a world of chaos. I have a child who demands my every firing neuron to be focused on him and him alone. He is a highly energetic child who loves to dance and sing and watch videos but when he sees my computer open, well that must be a sign that I need to play games with him on whatever game he is fascinated with at the time.

I love playing games with him. He gets to see my good sportsmanship and he gets to show off to me how much better he is at parkour in the game then I am. However, when I have things I need to get done I gotta focus. When  I took on the NaNoWriMo challenge last November I buckled down and made sure I got it done. I did too. I got 50,000 words of my story out of my head and into a format I could show someone. Not that I have yet, but, I forced myself to find the time, show my kiddo that I would play with him but I had other things that had to be done first. Since then I have been slacking hardcore but I have to accept that for what it is and just move on. I can and will do better and when it comes to writing. Well, I started this blog with my husband to force us to write more every week.

2. Happy places work like coffee- When I wake up in the morning, I get snuggles from my kiddo and we start off our day. I love coffee, but often the chance to make it is distant. When I can’t get my coffee or tea I can’t just turn off and stop being Mom. I have to make due with what I can. I sing, play funky music and make the kiddo dance to it, whatever gets us laughing and talking more. You give me 5 mins of quiet and I will meet you after my 2hr nap. Sleep is a happy place for me. However, waking up to the front door wide open and flour all over my kitchen is not. So making a happy place out of what I have in front of me is what I tend to do. Let me tell you when I say little man can dance. That boy get’s down and boogies!

3. Stickers, lots of stickers- I know, I am almost 30 and I should be grown out of silly things like that, but, I have these amazingly adorable panda stickers on my bamboo lap desk and they make me smile every time I look at them. When I was so sick and tired of my phone and wanted to chuck it at a wall for restarting for no reason over and over. I put tiny cute monsters stickers one the case. Some had mustaches! Seeing those guys would help me relax and forget about how my phone had just cut me off from sending a text to my husband for the 4th time.

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4. Understanding that things don’t stand still – I was raised in a HIGHLY Christian home and one of my favorite verses is, “This too shall pass.” It has been almost a self-mantra and a reminder that nothing stays the same. Good and bad. So enjoy the good when you have it and remember that the bad can’t last forever. I have a lot of health problems caused by being overweight and keeping me from moving and exercising to get rid of weight. I am in almost constant pain. Chest, ovaries, migraines, you name it I have most likely felt it. I joke with ER nurses on the regular and can tell you within minutes of meeting a nurse if she gives a shit or even believes you. Not all of them have treated me well, but I choose to understand that they are human and as such, they are bound to have bad days like the rest of us. Pain or no, I am always looking for the little ways I can help my family and make time to spend with them. Everything moves, and things will always change.

 

5. Awesome support – I can make my husband laugh even if he tries not to, because I know him and what makes him laugh. Well, he knows me and what makes me laugh. When my husband and kiddos team up I am full of the joy that seeing them being silly brings. I don’t have much support around me but I know that if I was feeling down I could give my Mom a call and we could just chat like we always do. When I am feeling out of sorts I have learned to just tell my husband. He understands and doesn’t judge me for this. He gives me hugs when I ask and sits on the other side of the room if I need. He has been a great pillar of support to me and when I look at what pushes me to be better or to buck up and try again. It is him. He believes in me and that means more to me than anything else in this world.

So when facing your own buckets of doubt, find the things in your own life that float. Find the people that make you smile and encourage you to reach even if you are too short to reach the top of the fridge…. like me.

Big dreams & little buckets

Tina here.

You know, the problem I am realizing more and more as I get older each year is that I am a dreamer. I can come up with ideas and plans that are so fantastic and beautiful sounding. I can even come up with what needs to be done to make it happen. However, I am horrible at pushing forward with anything.

I wanna live in Japan. That had been a dream of mine since I was 12. I went to Japan for 3 months on the good graces and EXTREAM amounts of patience of my Uncle and his newly married wife, my sweet Aunt. I was 17 and earned the money to pay for the ticket all on my own. However, my money was already earned and burning a hole in my pocket. I fully aware that I would have spent the money on random nicknacks or books if it wasn’t about Japan.

I wanna be a Teacher. I was inspired by some of my Jr. High and High school teachers. History mostly. I wanted to teach. I loved working with other people and I loved helping my friends and peers. Hell, I was a peer to peer counselor! However, in my all knowing wisdom of so close to 18 I can taste it, I got pregnant. That in and of itself didn’t disqualify me from going to school and making my dreams come true, but overloading myself, not asking for help when I should have, and not seeing a problem for what he was doing. I have tried to go to school since but a large part of those attempts has been extremely difficult and with an onset of untreated PTSD, I developed extream anxiety and depression when it came to dealing with new people. Maybe if someone like my husband could go with me I could push along, but the problem with that is that one of us has to work. I want my husband to have the chance to go to school if that is what he wants. Hell, I am more than willing to do whatever I need to for him to follow his own dreams. However, one of us just hit our 10 years at a single job… It wasn’t me.

I want to live clean and get healthy. I am so sick and tired of people telling me what I already know. Yes, I am EXTREAMLY overweight, yes I know what that can do to my body, yes I am aware that I can’t continue to live this way without consequences. How about you come over and teach me everything you do and how to overcome my downfalls and self-hate to learn a new lifestyle. Oh, what’s that? You have your own life. Yeah well, stop trying to tell me how easy it is unless you understand the shit I have to wade past just to get into the freaking club. Eat healthier, I have, you know what happens, I loose about 15lbs, which at this size is so not hard to do, then I bounce back and/or don’t loose anymore. Oh, but don’t worry, I am told that when I REEEEEALLY want it I will make it happen…

I know way too much about Tiny houses, crafts, and visas. I have studied every single way that you can legally get a visa to live in Japan. Think you don’t qualify for one. You could be wrong but you have to meet some qualifications first. I have so much useless information about things I will most likely never do. I want to start my own company but my own lack of solid skill/commitment keeps me here, behind a keyboard telling no one how sad and pitiful I am.

Oh, and my latest dream, an RV. Why? Because I worry that my terrible habits are going to land my family without a home and at least with an RV we could travel and find a place to work with a home over us like turtles.

Wow, this blog turned into a bummer. Sorry guys, this was a much-needed rant.