Troubled waters

Tina here!

Back with some more life happenings. Recently we have been running into issues with our youngest and his behavior at school. This has caused me to have extreme anxiety and worry about things that shouldn’t matter to me. Such as what the school thinks of me and my parenting, what other parents think, and what they expect me to do. Because at this point I am lost.

I expected him to have a fabulous time in school. To make tons of friends, maybe some problems with trying to talk too much but overall to enjoy the learning experience. He loves to learn new facts and information, he loves talking to anyone and everyone. This is the child who would seek out the grumpiest looking person and y’all to them till they smiled for him.

What I wasn’t expecting was randomly walking/running out of class and trying to escape the school. Kicking his fellow student over things such as them laughing at him or as children tend to do, ignore each other by repeatedly saying the same word over and over again. He has been destructive to other people’s belongings, stealing from his teacher for rewards he feels like he should have had. He was dangerous to other students and was suspended from school for a day.

What is going on? When I was asked to come in and pick him up I saw some child that was definitely not my sweet boy. I was worried he took something he shouldn’t have and was reacting to it violently. We will be starting Threopy this Friday not just for him but for Kris and I to understand how to best help him and work on these things together.

As Kris so wisely said to me,”Remember, this is not us vs him, but Mom, Dad, and Nik vs these problems. We are a team and will work them out as a team.”

What problems have your team helped you defeat?

Always on my mind

Howdy everyone, Tina here!

So as another day has passed, I am now ever closer to that fateful day when my dear sweet little boy, goes to school.

Now I know what you all are thinking, “Congrats! You have made it 5 years without mortally wounding your child. Now you get to send him off for half the day and experience your own time.” Well my friends, you are so wrong!

The last few years that I have spent at home with Nik have been amazing. He is so inquisitive and full of life. I worry about how I will do without him. I know he is going to do amazing in school. He has been practicing his whole life.

 

 

 

Making friends. Check. He will say hi to nearly everyone he sees. He seems to have a knack for honing in on those people with extremely sour dispositions and doing everything he can to get them to acknowledge him or just say Hi if they are really stubborn. Many a rideshare driver has met and talked with Nik, which is great for me because I get to just sit back and let him do all the talking. Even with our mildly grumpy roommate Watson, Nik knows that he doesn’t really like kids but will tell him jokes or do silly things to his dad to get Watson to laugh or smile. He tries sneaky ways to try and get him to talk to him too. He is getting better at it and even Watson admits that he keeps forgetting his own rule to ignore anything that can’t spell in a video game.

Schooling. Check. As far as general education goes, he is so ready. He has been working on his vocabulary since he found out he could talk. Kris and my hard fast rule to never baby talk him made sure he understood everyone around him and that he was well understood. He loves watching shows with me and his dad, so we worked on showing him all the coolest shows we loved from our childhood. Magic School Bus, Bill Nye, Zoobumafu, among others. That had us finding ones he really liked like Octonauts, Finding Stuff Out, and Wild Kratts. He loves learning about animals, nature, and space. He told Kris and me that his goal is to become a Firefighter, policeman, and astronaut in that order. I have no fears that when it comes to learning that he will shun away from it. I think he will be the one gathering others to it, hopefully not to explode or anything.

Challenges. Check. This kid has the iron will of a rusted shut bear trap. When it comes down to getting Nik to do something he doesn’t want to do, I have learned. You don’t demand, you challenge. Which to some might sound silly. He’s my kid and should do what I say when I say it right? No, he is his own person with his own set of ideas about what he does. You want him to do something different, please explain. So I could yell and scream and hold my breath and stomp my feet and we both end up feeling bad, or I can explain it to him for hours on end until I feel like my head is going to explode, or I can make it a race, make it a game, make it a spoonful of sugar if you will. I can let his willfulness get the best of me or I can work with it and help him to find the challenges and fun in life. I would much rather he make every day things seem like a game than watch him ho-hum though life.

So, will I cry on Tuesday of next week? YOU CAN COUNT ON IT. Not because I am scared for him or it means he is growing up. He reminds me everyday that he is getting older and bigger. No, I will be crying because my brightest beam of joy and love will be missing for most of my day and being faced with his own new challenges and learning. I will stand there however, with a brave face and a warm smile and hug to see him off. I will wave to him as he goes off to class each day, ready to learn and enjoy the things he finds. I will smile each day he goes to school, because for him, this is his newest adventure, and for me as well.

Niko chill

Getting back up

Whereas last week I was so sure that no one would like the blog. I even went so far as to not say anything about it being posted on our social media. This week I hope to take a little bit of a brighter outlook and share some of the joy and positivity that keeps me going despite all that keeps me down.

So I would like to present this blog’s first ever list.

Tina’s top 5 ways to show the world who’s boss:

1. Finding time, or Making time? That is the question – When I write I am most often consumed in a world of chaos. I have a child who demands my every firing neuron to be focused on him and him alone. He is a highly energetic child who loves to dance and sing and watch videos but when he sees my computer open, well that must be a sign that I need to play games with him on whatever game he is fascinated with at the time.

I love playing games with him. He gets to see my good sportsmanship and he gets to show off to me how much better he is at parkour in the game then I am. However, when I have things I need to get done I gotta focus. When  I took on the NaNoWriMo challenge last November I buckled down and made sure I got it done. I did too. I got 50,000 words of my story out of my head and into a format I could show someone. Not that I have yet, but, I forced myself to find the time, show my kiddo that I would play with him but I had other things that had to be done first. Since then I have been slacking hardcore but I have to accept that for what it is and just move on. I can and will do better and when it comes to writing. Well, I started this blog with my husband to force us to write more every week.

2. Happy places work like coffee- When I wake up in the morning, I get snuggles from my kiddo and we start off our day. I love coffee, but often the chance to make it is distant. When I can’t get my coffee or tea I can’t just turn off and stop being Mom. I have to make due with what I can. I sing, play funky music and make the kiddo dance to it, whatever gets us laughing and talking more. You give me 5 mins of quiet and I will meet you after my 2hr nap. Sleep is a happy place for me. However, waking up to the front door wide open and flour all over my kitchen is not. So making a happy place out of what I have in front of me is what I tend to do. Let me tell you when I say little man can dance. That boy get’s down and boogies!

3. Stickers, lots of stickers- I know, I am almost 30 and I should be grown out of silly things like that, but, I have these amazingly adorable panda stickers on my bamboo lap desk and they make me smile every time I look at them. When I was so sick and tired of my phone and wanted to chuck it at a wall for restarting for no reason over and over. I put tiny cute monsters stickers one the case. Some had mustaches! Seeing those guys would help me relax and forget about how my phone had just cut me off from sending a text to my husband for the 4th time.

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4. Understanding that things don’t stand still – I was raised in a HIGHLY Christian home and one of my favorite verses is, “This too shall pass.” It has been almost a self-mantra and a reminder that nothing stays the same. Good and bad. So enjoy the good when you have it and remember that the bad can’t last forever. I have a lot of health problems caused by being overweight and keeping me from moving and exercising to get rid of weight. I am in almost constant pain. Chest, ovaries, migraines, you name it I have most likely felt it. I joke with ER nurses on the regular and can tell you within minutes of meeting a nurse if she gives a shit or even believes you. Not all of them have treated me well, but I choose to understand that they are human and as such, they are bound to have bad days like the rest of us. Pain or no, I am always looking for the little ways I can help my family and make time to spend with them. Everything moves, and things will always change.

 

5. Awesome support – I can make my husband laugh even if he tries not to, because I know him and what makes him laugh. Well, he knows me and what makes me laugh. When my husband and kiddos team up I am full of the joy that seeing them being silly brings. I don’t have much support around me but I know that if I was feeling down I could give my Mom a call and we could just chat like we always do. When I am feeling out of sorts I have learned to just tell my husband. He understands and doesn’t judge me for this. He gives me hugs when I ask and sits on the other side of the room if I need. He has been a great pillar of support to me and when I look at what pushes me to be better or to buck up and try again. It is him. He believes in me and that means more to me than anything else in this world.

So when facing your own buckets of doubt, find the things in your own life that float. Find the people that make you smile and encourage you to reach even if you are too short to reach the top of the fridge…. like me.