Troubled waters

Tina here!

Back with some more life happenings. Recently we have been running into issues with our youngest and his behavior at school. This has caused me to have extreme anxiety and worry about things that shouldn’t matter to me. Such as what the school thinks of me and my parenting, what other parents think, and what they expect me to do. Because at this point I am lost.

I expected him to have a fabulous time in school. To make tons of friends, maybe some problems with trying to talk too much but overall to enjoy the learning experience. He loves to learn new facts and information, he loves talking to anyone and everyone. This is the child who would seek out the grumpiest looking person and y’all to them till they smiled for him.

What I wasn’t expecting was randomly walking/running out of class and trying to escape the school. Kicking his fellow student over things such as them laughing at him or as children tend to do, ignore each other by repeatedly saying the same word over and over again. He has been destructive to other people’s belongings, stealing from his teacher for rewards he feels like he should have had. He was dangerous to other students and was suspended from school for a day.

What is going on? When I was asked to come in and pick him up I saw some child that was definitely not my sweet boy. I was worried he took something he shouldn’t have and was reacting to it violently. We will be starting Threopy this Friday not just for him but for Kris and I to understand how to best help him and work on these things together.

As Kris so wisely said to me,”Remember, this is not us vs him, but Mom, Dad, and Nik vs these problems. We are a team and will work them out as a team.”

What problems have your team helped you defeat?

Always on my mind

Howdy everyone, Tina here!

So as another day has passed, I am now ever closer to that fateful day when my dear sweet little boy, goes to school.

Now I know what you all are thinking, “Congrats! You have made it 5 years without mortally wounding your child. Now you get to send him off for half the day and experience your own time.” Well my friends, you are so wrong!

The last few years that I have spent at home with Nik have been amazing. He is so inquisitive and full of life. I worry about how I will do without him. I know he is going to do amazing in school. He has been practicing his whole life.

 

 

 

Making friends. Check. He will say hi to nearly everyone he sees. He seems to have a knack for honing in on those people with extremely sour dispositions and doing everything he can to get them to acknowledge him or just say Hi if they are really stubborn. Many a rideshare driver has met and talked with Nik, which is great for me because I get to just sit back and let him do all the talking. Even with our mildly grumpy roommate Watson, Nik knows that he doesn’t really like kids but will tell him jokes or do silly things to his dad to get Watson to laugh or smile. He tries sneaky ways to try and get him to talk to him too. He is getting better at it and even Watson admits that he keeps forgetting his own rule to ignore anything that can’t spell in a video game.

Schooling. Check. As far as general education goes, he is so ready. He has been working on his vocabulary since he found out he could talk. Kris and my hard fast rule to never baby talk him made sure he understood everyone around him and that he was well understood. He loves watching shows with me and his dad, so we worked on showing him all the coolest shows we loved from our childhood. Magic School Bus, Bill Nye, Zoobumafu, among others. That had us finding ones he really liked like Octonauts, Finding Stuff Out, and Wild Kratts. He loves learning about animals, nature, and space. He told Kris and me that his goal is to become a Firefighter, policeman, and astronaut in that order. I have no fears that when it comes to learning that he will shun away from it. I think he will be the one gathering others to it, hopefully not to explode or anything.

Challenges. Check. This kid has the iron will of a rusted shut bear trap. When it comes down to getting Nik to do something he doesn’t want to do, I have learned. You don’t demand, you challenge. Which to some might sound silly. He’s my kid and should do what I say when I say it right? No, he is his own person with his own set of ideas about what he does. You want him to do something different, please explain. So I could yell and scream and hold my breath and stomp my feet and we both end up feeling bad, or I can explain it to him for hours on end until I feel like my head is going to explode, or I can make it a race, make it a game, make it a spoonful of sugar if you will. I can let his willfulness get the best of me or I can work with it and help him to find the challenges and fun in life. I would much rather he make every day things seem like a game than watch him ho-hum though life.

So, will I cry on Tuesday of next week? YOU CAN COUNT ON IT. Not because I am scared for him or it means he is growing up. He reminds me everyday that he is getting older and bigger. No, I will be crying because my brightest beam of joy and love will be missing for most of my day and being faced with his own new challenges and learning. I will stand there however, with a brave face and a warm smile and hug to see him off. I will wave to him as he goes off to class each day, ready to learn and enjoy the things he finds. I will smile each day he goes to school, because for him, this is his newest adventure, and for me as well.

Niko chill

To write, or not to write

Kris here,

Just to make it clear, I’m a yuuuge fan of reading. I’ve read a diverse array of genres, but I think my favorites are definitely Sci-Fi and Fantasy for sure. More specifically, I’m a sucker for exploring worlds imagined by the people writing those books. I’ll often be hundreds of pages deep in a book, get impatient as to whether or not they’re ever going to expand or if the story is all about this “protagonist” because by god I’ll throw that book at Tina and let her read it! Don’t tell anyone, but I looked up the ending to more than one book before actually finishing it. “But that’s the wrong way to read a book Kris!” I hear my wife telling you all to tell me. That’s fine, I don’t want to do it the right way, I just want to know if that jerk Antorell got punched in his stupid face!

Recently I’ve been building my own world to write stories in so I can sell them to a big publisher and become a billionaire author. The only shortfall in this scenario is that I usually get caught up in the tiny details I’m always hunting for in other books and then procrastinate until my muse finds a hammer big enough to knock me back on track. For example: I’m pretty sure in the beginning I want my main character to have the West blocked to him, he should go northeast to a city. What city, and what kind of reaction will they have to him? Well I don’t know I’ll come back to it in 5 or 6 weeks. I finally manage to get back to building and I figure I’ll work that out later, for now let’s just focus on getting the continents built. Hmmm, except I know I want some mountains and there should be a valley like right over….well whatever I’ll work it out in another 4 weeks.

The moral of the story here is don’t be like me! The best thing to do in these scenarios is to power through the uncertainty and writers’ block and just vomit some letters all over a page or computer screen. In a day or a week from now you’re going to come back and think “well I was clearly experimenting with some wack stuff, obviously the correct words I meant to write are..” You’ll just need to do this every day or every other day for roughly 6 months to a year and then you’ll get the joy of editing the words you wrote. A lot of writers dread editing because of reasons, editing is actually my favorite part aside from the worldbuilding aspect. That’s where I can actually allow myself to hyperfocus and zoom way, way in on those minute details that add up to make a floppy story. Maybe I’ll write a brief section on editing a story right after I look something up on YouTube real quick…

Good luck out there